So... Shorter than usuals. I cut out the to-do list, and a few random things. Just decided that I should update you guys, since it's been like three months and no one's heard from me. >-< After getting my laptop, I got caught up doing a lot of writing and roleplaying. So it's just kinda gone from there. What photography I have done, it's tough to get to. I want to try and update with some more pictures soon. Since I know it's been quite awhile since I posted any photographs or legit work of mine. I still don't have all my files transferred to my laptop, but I believe I've got all my pictures. I guess I just wanted you all to know that I didn't like die or anything.. So yeah. Events in my life have been: Barely spoken to Mal sine he left back in early July. What times we have, it's been rough. Not fighting, but we try to keep to light conversation. Though sometimes we can get on sad subjects for the both of us.. I've got three great guys in my life now, that I like, and like me back. Mal is one of those guys, yes. But for now, the only thing that he's told me is that he'll be back 'within the year' ... Yeah, needless to say that I'm not so comforted by it. Uhm, but there are two other guys as well that I like. But of course I've agreed with each of them that right now what I need is friendship. I even explained to Mal that I wasn't sure how I felt anymore, and that we'd have to build our friendship back up again first.

Well, aside from happy relationship shit.. I've just been writing a lot. Roleplaying especially lately. Schoolwork, so on and so forth.. Lemme start with some events from, say, October? Not much happened through the beginning of it. Just same old, same old. I went to Fall Festival, which was overall fun.. But I found myself sitting alone sitting on the outside side of the railing to the front of the church. (Fall Festival at FRB, where we used to go to school. Christian Private school, remember?) And, I didn't do something so nice... It wasn't like it's ever been before. It was light, and healed within a day. But yeah. And, if I didn't tell you already, I broke that soberiety when the anniversary of it came along. It was on the same day as our first year anniversary.. I don't want to explain how I felt, because I'm still trying to keep sober best I can. Yes, I have cut probably three or four times now. None recently, and I don't want to have any new ones anytime soon either. So do keep that in your hopes and prayers, because I know what it's doing to those that know. I don't want them hurting. And that alone is a good enough reason for me to quit cold-turkey and do everything possible to keep it that way.

Now then, not a whole ton happened after that. I spent a week at my grandmother's house, helping take care of my great grandmother. And that really hurt.. Yes, that was another time I hurt myself. But with the help of my best friend, Nyx, my Irish bish. <3 I've been doing better. I've got him and Devon whenever I really feel like shit. Devon's mah baby. :3 No, not literally. But, his mother isn't a nice woman.. Luckily she just recently got put in jail because her boyfriend was off his parole. He got in trouble, they got caught for things, and they're away for now. Which means that Devon is safe.. He's Nyx's son. He's soooo cute! He has a kawaii Irish accent that's so much like his father's. (though I find his father's accent smhexy ;3 Dev will have a way with the ladies with that accent on 'im!) I'll post a picture soon if you guys want. He still only knows so many words, but he's taken a liking to calling me 'momma' , which just makes me wanna cry.. Nyxie says that I'd make a great mother. It's weird, because he's the first person to really notice how much I want that. I wanna be a mommy. :3 I may be dark and demented, but that doesn't mean I can't love either.. But for now, Devon is my baby. And I love those two a lot. After all of that, I came back home. Spent not even a week here, and then we were told that Grandma (our great grandmother) , got stuck in the hospital with a type of infection, and was throwing up black vile.

All I have to say is that these doctors are fucking idiots... They're doing all these tests to try to find out what's wrong with her now that they've taken her off of all but three medicines! Hellllloooo?! Withdrawal much? It's not that tough to tell.. She's weak, shakes a ton (more than just old person shaking) , vomiting, constant naseua, loss of appetite, stomach problems, those sorts of things. Anyway, we left the next morning to help for two days before coming home. She didn't look too hot at all. And I understand, because I'm going through the same thing.. Again. When we were there for that week or two, I did unintentionally land myself back into my pain killer dependence. Which I've recently quit, and I'm six days sober. I'm dealing with shit withdrawal, but it's worth it. I don't want to be addicted again, and I won't let it happen. So at the least I'm hoping you guys will be happy that I AM working at it, and not just saying 'oh I'll quit tomorrow' .. I'm in the process of quitting, trying to get myself sobered up properly. I was dealing with a LOT of physical pain while I was there, and worrying over so many people, it just got to me. And I didn't realize it again until I had dependence once again. Okay, and before we left that week, I also lost my dog... See, there was this stray that followed me on a walk one day. He was up to about my hip when on all fours, and he was a boxer mix. Damn cutie. x3 I named him Alastar "Art" Reagan. All Irish. Alastar means 'defender of mankind' , Art means 'bear' and champion' , and Reagan means 'furious' and 'impulsive.' I found these all ironic and sweet x3 I only had him for so long, but we found that he was way too jumpy. We believe he dealt with some type of abuse, especially considering he wouldn't let ANYONE of the male gender near him. He stuck next to me a lot. <3 The day after we arrived, my mom called me from home (she had to go back for work) , and told me that he got hit by car.. Some asshole driving way too fast through a neighborhood like this. Luckily he didn't hit the schoolbus that he could've. Still, it hurt... There was a police officer looking for the guy, for reasons I'm not sure about because Ma only told me what Richard told her.

Richard told the policeman about it, who seemed angry too. I'm just looking forward to the fact that he can rot in Hell. :3 Ally was my baby. And always will be. Even if we only had him for so long... Anyway, that would be a big part of why I was having so much trouble. I closed my eyes to sleep and pictured it. It hurt too much. My sleeping problems got worse, my joints actually got a LOT worse. We did some research and stuff the second week that Ma was there. And we were running all over the library and the Historic District. (which I recommend checking out if you're ever in Hillsborough, NC) My knee jerked out, and it hurt. I got stuck using a cane for a good while. I have it here at home with me now, in case my knee ever gets bad like that again. We didn't do anything for Halloween. But we DID get flyers posted out all over Hillsborough (damn, people may call and our phone isn't working!) , but they can email us and so on.. Worth the pain if it gets promotion out there. We just spent it watching the Live Feed for Ghost Hunters, and the Live Countdown. All that fun stuff. :3 And more recently.. When we left for those two days, Fuzz and Peggy had been sick. Peggy is better already, but Fuzz.... Well, she ran off and hid. And the next morning when were making sure we had everything, and were getting ready to leave, I was holding onto Pepper and I asked Ma if she found her... They did. The look she gave me said enough. I just held tighter onto Pepper, and turned around to try to not show anything. Ma told me to stay home if I wanted to, but I couldn't do that to them. They needed me there to help. So that's what I did... It fucking hurts, y'know? Midnight's other two babies.. They just don't think of me the same way that Fuzz did. She was just like her father.. Dad may be an ass most of the time, but he DOES love all of us. Which I'm thankful to God for... He buried her next to Midnight while we were gone. I just didn't wanna be here to watch another of my babies being buried.. God, I haven't cried but once since I found out, but I'm tearing up while writing this. xD It really fucking hurts..

It's good to have emotion, but still. Anywhos, I'm fine guys. :3 Been sober from pain killers for six days. Which has been a bitchin' time. But worth it. Spending lots of time with Nyxie, whenever he's on. Talking to Dusk, hanging out with all my friends and RP partners on Furc. If anyone has Furc, you can add me as Satan's Soul Owner. :3 Always happy to hang with more friends. I'm always on my MSN IM, YIM, AIM, and Furc. So feel free to contact me on ANY of those, and if you're not able to, just send me an email. Also, I have Skype. Which you can note me about if you want. Note me for anything else, loves. I love you all, and I'm sorry I haven't posted much work! TECPS has been thoroughly busy, I ask you to go to the webpages when they're all updated! For now, I've got RP to get back to, and cuddling with Dusk. <3

NOVEMBER 11, 2009: REST IN PEACE, DARLING! R.I.P. Fuzzy.. Some pictures to remember her: I See.. & (my favorite and what I have as a wallpaper on my laptop) Pedestal
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CHECK OUT THE EAST COAST PARANORMAL SOCIETY'S WEBPAGE: [link]

THE EAST COAST PARANORMAL SOCIETY'S FACEBOOK: [link]

THE EAST COAST PARANORMAL SOCIETY'S DA PAGE:
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Inconvenient?

Is abortion really the way, people? Please think about the child's welfare instead of your own before you make a decision...

Thanks to *Elandain for this inspiring picture. Keep up the good work, love. <3
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HELP SAVE HOMELESS, ABANDONED, AND ABUSED ANIMALS:

Pedigree homeless dog help. You can also find a place to volunteer! : [link]
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<3<3<3<3<3 Always love to ~tomislav-moze Take a look at his journal and all his photography. He's great and we must all pray for him, or I castrate all of you! [link] And the picture link is on his journal.. And to ~patsumii-yuki I'm doing commissions and I want the money sent to her. If you want one, note me... And love to Emmy ( ~Vexteerina ) . Nyx, my best friend. And Devon, mah baby. <3<3<3<3<3
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People on DA who deserve more credit than they get: ~Z90 ~McDefault ~7210 *AliceBoceanu ~Kankuro4ever ~ShikuroxKanno ~kalath666 ~ShadowNinja431 ~Aussiescopper ~Sena2000

They're all amazing artists in my eyes. And they deserve a lot more attention and credit for everything they do. x3
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No to-do list this time around! I'm just wingin' it, bishies!
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Clubs:

(I'm a submissions helper ^-^ )
(I'm 1 of 3 moderators/creators. ~ShikuroxKanno , *AliceBoceanu , and I created it together)
DON'T FORGET THE EAST COAST PARANORMAL SOCIETY :
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Folksies who have done junk for me:

1. [link] 2. Birthday picture! [link]
1. Well, not exactly a request.. But I'm gonna featured throughout this story. This is where I show up: [link] ^-^ And then I'm in episodes after that, of course 2. The 'Kiss'mas party, Tishai Haru is in it: [link] 3. Pending.. Freakshow(by Britney Spears) video with KankuShino
. 1. My character Shagi Jaganshi: [link] 2. This is my oc for my soon-to-come Kankuro love story called All My Hope Is Lost In The Sand, her name is Tishai Haru: [link]
1. Birthday picture for me: [link] I lovels this one tons too! Orochimaru is one of my most favorite characters! 2. My OC, Kichumaru Ishoji: [link]
1. [link] <3 One of my favorite Naruto couples. Tis from our art trade. No flaming, please. It's just really annoying. It won't do anything but annoy the hell out of us.
1. [link] for my birthday ^-^
1. [link] Is my character, Shagi Jaganshi as a full-on cat. She used a lot of Shagi's original markings and colors, whereas now she's just a human for roleplay. o.o Is a long story. Thankies, Ryh <3 2. Shagi icon. [link]
1. My new Final Divine character, Eris Aoide. [link] (KiNote: Final Divine is created and owned by ~7210 The only thing I've attributed to it is requesting a character and giving it a name. XD Everything else is all his. Even my character's description and weapons and appearance! All of it is his) 2. A Christmas gift, featuring Eris Aoide. [link]
1. Caught the kiriban. My OCs Shagi Jaganshi from Lost Ages ( [link] . Shagi is the one in red) and Danielle Stone, from my Edward Elric romance story (look through the stories section in my gallery or go here: [link] . Dani is the one in black) : [link] I love it, she captured them both so well. 'Cept as a note, Shagi was once portrayed as a furre(two-legged animal, in her case a feline) . But now that she's in Lost Ages, I decided to keep her portrayed more human. It just fits better with things. :3
1. She was my Secret Santa 2008. This is the picture she drew for me: [link]
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Folksies who I've done junk for:

1. Gift/request. [link] and [link] 2. Dedication. [link] 3. Dedication. [link]
Gift/request. [link] and [link]
1. Request. [link] and [link] 2. Request. ~Star-Wars-Fanatics icon. [link] 3. Christmas gift 2008. [link] 4. Art trade. [link]
1. Birthday gift 2008. [link] 2. Christmas gift 2008. [link]
1. Request. [link] 2. Birthday picture(s) 2008. [link] and [link] 3. Christmas gift 2008. [link]
Christmas gift 2008. [link]
Christmas gift 2008. [link]
Christmas gift 2008. [link]
Secret Santa, Christmas 2008. [link]
Cupid, Valentine's Day 2009. [link]
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This is the song that I have Nyx play for Devon. I hope to sing it to him in person one day.. You'll Be In My Heart <3 This is also the song that I listened to on the anniversary of Midnight's death.. I like listening to it and thinking about Midnight and Fuzz. And especially Devon. He's so young, but I know what he's been through.

And the song that I sing for Nyx when he needs to feel better: AIKznMPXUk"Somewhere Over The Rainbow And the lyric in this 'I hear babies cry and I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than we'll know." I sing it 'I hear a baby cry, and I watch him grow. He'll learn much more than we'll know.' when I'm singing to Nyx. <3 Because Devon really is a strong little boy. And I love him dearly. I asked Nyx the other night if he wanted me to sing to him, to make him feel better.. He said yeah, and he wanted me to sing Somewhere Over The Rainbow. So I did, and now I do often. :3